Current Briny en Garde Turn Report

The three flagships of His Majesty's Naval Squadrons – The HMS Indomitable (White), the HMS Ferocious (Red) and the HMS Sheik Yassouf (Blue) – and the HMS Salisbury stand in the calm waters of Portsmouth harbour to honour their respective dead.

Aboard the Indomitable three casketed remains rest upon the shoulders of their bearers, Lieutenants all, each casket covered with the national ensign with the union placed at the head and over the left shoulder of the remains. On top of the casket is rested the cap and sword of each of the deceased showing the high ranks who died in this conflict. The first casket to be brought onto the deck of the HMS Indomitable is that of The First Sea lord, Baron N7 formally of the Blue Squadron. The former rear admiral of the Baron's old squadron, JOG, who now wears the uniform and colours of the Vice Admiral of the Red and who stands 302 guineas richer, precedes this casket.

The second casket is lead by Captains Sir N10 BR1 of the Indomitable and Captain Viscount N7 of the Halcyon (the only ships to capture an enemy vessel) and contains the remains of the late Admiral N3 of the White. The final casket, led by Admiral AG of the Red, contains the body of his former commander Red Admiral N3. AG, who took command following the death of his commanding officer in the first skirmish of contest, gained his promotion because of the magnificent job he undertook in this role and is also rumoured to be over 400 guineas richer.
Attention is sounded on the bugle, and on the order of Major MAD - sporting a fresh MID gained by pulling the body of the First Lord of the Sea away from the squadron of French marines keen to capture their enemy's commander - every man in attendance on every ship executes a crisp salute as the lead cortege arrives at the place selected for the committal. The foredeck of Indomitable has been cleared and rigged to allow the three caskets to be placed securely on their designated stands, with their feet overboard as Naval tradition dictates.

Aboard the Ferocious, Rear Admiral JWK – who collected a purse of 402 guineas from the men under his command - presides over a smaller ceremony with Captain TB (300 guineas gained from the sale of French sail cloth), Lieutenant WS (300 guineas found in the purse of one French deserter), Ship's Adjutant Lieutenant. BD (who sold off the one hundred year old cutlass of his French counterpart for 250 guineas), and Master's Mate RBW. Each man will have a tale to tell his children about their tangle with the French in the summer of 1793. WS and RBW were both mentioned in dispatches for their bravery when they rescued the helmsman from beneath some of the debris of the battle. RWB was also promoted to Master's Mate, a rank he had hoped to by-pass following a mix up it port. It transpires that he had been accepted to serve as a Midshipman but Naval Law states that he needed a horse, which he didn't have, so the Baron's son was forced to serve as a common sailor.

The crew of the Fiddler's Green stand one step to the left of the Officers and Crew of the Ferocious headed by Captain Sir AM, and flanked by Lieutenant's SAM and SYG (Each of who gained 1300 guineas a piece for the salvaged cargo of a maroon French transporter). AM was knighted by the King for his decision to use the shallow straights south of Southampton in the year's highest tides and successful block a French attempt to approach along the same channel. Midshipman EQ stands next to them all, his head bowed in shame and relief having been caught poltrooning but spared a court marshal, and a party of sailors bear the body of the late CEW. The Fiddler's Green may have mounted a successful blockade but CEW in a valiant effort to save his Captain's shoes was lost overboard. (The shoes however were saved). Along side the officers stands the newly promoted Royal Marines Brevet Major BA now in command of the marines aboard the Fiddler's Green.

The representatives of the Belle Poule are next. They stand to attention to mourn the deaths of Captain JM, Lieutenant FRN, Lieutenant BuB, and Master's Mate EP all of whom were posthumously mentioned in Dispatches by the new First Lord of the Sea for their valiant defence of English waters. The Belle Poule was involved in a highly dangerous encounter with a French battleship twice her size. In desperation Captain JM ordered his vessel to broadside the larger warship and unleashed his entire arsenal of cannon into her left side. The resulting damage forced the Frenchmen to concede the sea to her smaller aggressor but it cost the lives of a large number of officers and men aboard the Belle Poule.

Aboard the Sheik Yassouf is its former Captain RTM. His successful blockade earned him promotion to brevet Rear Admiral of the Blue, 500 guineas and a mention in dispatches. Along side him stands the newly promoted Master and Commander MW of the HMS Salisbury who also gained a purse of 300 guineas and a Mention for his efforts throughout the month. Leading the honour guard is former Marine HC who was promoted Subaltern for leading a charge that routed the French marines as they tried to board the Yassouf. The new Captain of the Waakzamheit stands next. PP purchased the rank at the beginning of the month, had his money reimbursed when an unknown clause in his great uncle's will. This stated that he would inherit the sum of 1400 guineas when he reached gained command of one of his majesty's war ships.

Aboard the Salisbury the Blockade Squadron, under the temporary command the recently mentioned Captain HJ of the Sauve Qui Peut and new promoted Captain (RM) JB, now of the Belle Poule (who is said to be 1000 guineas the richer because of his efforts), the senior officers form a honour guard for the Captain BL of the Salisbury. BL was mentioned for bravery above and beyond the call of duty fell defending the helm of his vessel. The men of the blockade squadron also reluctantly remember two disgraced members of the Navy. The late Lieutenant's TJ and SAB were killed in action but each had run from the authorities to serve in the Blockade Squadron following the disgrace they had gained for duelling a fellow officer. Both men had had the black mark against their names removed for their heroics, which also earned both posthumous mentions. The last man to be buried is the sailor RB who was at the helm of the Salisbury and died next to his Captain.

When the honour platoons have assembled in massed formation and everyone has been brought to rest, the burial service begins. The prayers and traditions of the Navy are followed to the letter before MAD issues the command "Firing party, Present Arms" and the committal is read. The casket bearers tilt their boards until the casket slides along it, under the national ensign, overboard into the sea. As it goes, the casket bearers retain the board and the national ensign on board and stand fast.

The command “Firing party, Order Arms, Parade Rest," is given and all hands bow their heads. The benediction is pronounced. Then follow the commands, "Firing party, Attention. Fire three volleys" (each honour platoon of Marines salutes and remain so until the last note of Taps) "Ready, aim, fire; aim, fire; aim, fire." After the last volley the firing party remains at the ready position, pieces locked, until the conclusion of Taps, and salutes.

Upon completion of Taps, the firing party is brought to Order Arms. After the new First Lord has received the flag from his predecessor and has departed, the command Parade Rest is given, and when all have assumed it, the details (firing party and casket bearers) are brought to Attention, formed and marched away. When they are clear, the honour platoon is brought to Attention, retreat sounded and the ceremony is over.

…. and so the month starts off as bare as Old Mother Hubbard's cupboard, slightly bare…….

The first week looks like the top shelf, there maybe some thing up there but not once we get on a chair and check…

Well no parties this week, but a few people are out and about. IS & Emma and JC & Sara all head off to Red Coats for a drink and each other company. JJ visits the Pitt and gets very, very drunk, so does RIP. JS visits Buttons with Lady Eliza for a quiet night.

JF is seen banging on the door of Harriet Hilfinger with a large expensive broach in his sweaty hand. However one look out the upstairs window by said lady and she slams it shut and refuses his attentions. TOM and BB are seen swinging their cutlasses about in the stalls. Meanwhile PC goes South Side and escapes the attentions of the footpads.

Week two the middle shelf a bit deeper and darker than the top shelf, lets peer in there shall we?

Once again no parties, though people still venture out for a drink or two. JS and Lady Eliza visit Buttons for a cosy drink and a chat. JJ goes South Side and comes home again no the worse. HTS visits the Pit and gets rats elbowed as they say in East London; he also has a political debate with him self! (Editor: man needs to see a sawbones talking to him self like that!)

BB, IS, PC and TOM all practice their weapons all week. RIP goes to Peoples Inn to practice.

Meanwhile on the streets JC and PD both turn up at Betty Grapples with flowers and the same idea! After a heated debate they both exchange cards and head off to their clubs leaving Betty with no one! Also out on the prowl is JF trying to court Victoria Watson-Holmes with the same expensive Broach, but alas the Lady has heard of his attempt on Harriet with the same broach and refuses him!

So week two leaves us with nothing but splinters as we feel around the shelf in the dark….

What's this party! TOM has a party at Dolphins those lucky enough to be invited or gain entry are : IS & Emma, JF, JJ, PC and RIP, a few drinks and a polite discussion of Whig politics ensues between the like mined fellows, a thoroughly good debate was had by all. BB and JC practice their weapons al week. HTS treads down the street looking determined and heads straight for Betty Grapples door and is about to knock when it is flung open and she says “Yes I will” before he even says a word! (Editor: Seems that losing 2 suitors last week she was determined to have at least one this week! )

So we bend on all fours and stick our head in and wave the candle about, but all we seem to do is nearly set fire to our wig!!

JF, RIP and TOM all go South Side and return unscathed! (Editor: A miracle, I tell you, a miracle !) Meanwhile BB, HTS, IS and JC all spend the week practising their chosen weapons. Mind you JJ visits the Pit and gets as tight as a Marines drum skin! JS attends Buttons with Lady Eliza and enjoys her company.

So a feast for one consisting of a week old piece of Bread and some dry mutton, life has never been so good…..NOT!

Mind you what with all the men of the service away on duty it was to be expected, only 2 moremonths before the heroes return, either in one piece or in a fine oak coffin, only time will tell.

The London Gazette Sports Supplement

W elcome to the 6th edition of the London Gazette sports supplement, in this section of The Gazette we will bring you the latest news of any and all contests and sporting events taking place within the City of London and environs.

As you all know, the taking of matters into one's own hands is something that is frowned upon in this country – and so well it should be, but that is not to say that two gentlemen of good standing cannot settle their differences in the manner of a sporting contest, and it is with that in mind that we at The Gazette have decided to publish reports of such events for the information of our readers.

Disclaimer – The report contained within these pages was viewed by our reporter as a sporting contest and The Gazette accepts no responsibility if it was actually a duel. We will not be held accountable for encouraging such illegal activities, and we strongly endorse the work of the Admiralty in discouraging such events .

So Gents I was there and these two Gentlemen TJ and SAB turn up so we have some action at least. They both look ready and up for it and seem evenly matched.

So off they go they circle each other testing the defences and SAB lands the first blow, not a deep one but it hurts none the less. Now feeling a bit more confident they start to get down to it SAB strikes out and hits TJ, who in turns sends a sharp reply and also hits SAB, but not as deep. By now they are sweating a tad and the assembled Gents can see they have a real fight on their hands and the wagers start rising. SAB lands another blow, but

TJ lands a heavy one in return, now SAB looks concerned, but puts a brave face on it. They circle each other again but more warily now, respecting each others skill. Suddenly SAB tries a slash that hits a glancing blow, whereas TJ lands a beauty that has SAB staggering backwards. Realising that he is far too weak to continue he declares in TJ's favour.

H owever that is not the end of it, no Sir's not by a long chalk. As these two Gents are shipmates they are in disgrace and face a possible court martial from the Port Admiral. But not wishing to incur the Admiralties wrath they both volunteer for the Blockade squadron and re last seen walking to their lodgings to collect their sea trunks and head off to sea!

Sirs, I must protest against the grotesque and archaic requirement for RN officers of the rank of midshipman and above to purchase horses. I appreciate that animals are necessary on board ship, such as a few head of cattle for milk and fresh meat against the scurvy, along with several sheep or goats and some chickens, geese and maybe a few gun dogs or terriers for hunting and the ship's cats for ratting, but in this day and age it is an unnecessary cruelty to keep horses aboard as well. This is especially true in the tightly cramped conditions on a sloop, even for the regulation size Shetland ponies. I suggest that the money wasted purchasing them by young officers might be better spent on getting good quality uniforms and navigational equipment, and instead of hiring a groom for the horse it would be better to hire a manservant to keep the uniform etc in good condition. To this end I am forming a League Against Cruelty To Naval Horses, and invite others to comment upon this topic.

Dear Mrs Swift,
Thank you for the kindness you have shown me over the past few weeks. I know times are hard, and that food prices are going though the roof owing to the trouble with the French. Please find enclosed 3 gold peices to help elevate any problems you might find in buying food over the next few months.
I wish my Nan could have met you, she would have got on so well, as you both have the same core, -- kindness, love and the will to except strangers as family.
God look after you, and when I return, I will look you up and tell you of my adventures.
All my love
Charles. xxx

Court martial

None

Duels

JC and PD, for both trying to court Betty!